Capturing moments

Update

2011-11-29T08:12:00.001-08:00

It's been awhile...I know. I have just been pretty lazy to write. Well here I am now hoping that I would be able to keep up with blogging again. So, nothing new is happening. I have gained more weight than ever. Although I secretly wish that this staggering increment of weight is due to pregnancy, however I am still very much preggie-less and has been feeling quite annoyed lately when people keep assuming that I am. Thanks for praying though!

I can't say that I don't wanna get impregnated. God knows how much I love children and how badly I miss the next-door neighbour's girls. I wish my kids are as smart and as adorable as them but hey I guess God still wants me to enjoy our honeymoon period.

Speaking of which can you believe it's almost December already. Felt like it was just yesterday that I left down under and it was only last night that I got married. 2 months from now and we'll mark our very first anniversary. Isn't that just awesome! I've never met someone so patient and so easy going as the man I married. Huhu..i think each time he's away kinda makes us appreciate each other better. Not that I want him to go outstation more often than he does now, but you know what I mean.

So that's my thoughts for today. I am having pretty annoying headache tonight and I hope I sleep better. Can't wait to recover from this cough and flu. Ciao

Starting a new career

2011-07-08T22:11:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness, I have made sooo many mistakes and I kept making them again and again and again. I swear I feel like shooting myself or jumping from the 21st floor of my office building or maybe walk through the busy road and let me get run over by a car or a lorry. It's exhausting and it's exasperating and I swear I cant even give myself another chance for making those silly, typo/grammar/punctuation errors. I am so not fit to become a magazine editor...sigh..

The week has finally passed by. I know I have another week to battle through for another important deals to go through but I am trying not to be ahead of myself. Take things as it comes and be really focus. Despite the elevated stress, I managed to get through it and a simple thank you sms from my client was good enough to wake me up with a smile on my face.

So I've started working since 3 months ago. I have definitely learned a great deal and when I try to take all the negativities out of the equation, it's actually a pretty good experience that I never thought I would actually be doing. So I am gonna be thankful with what I have and not gonna lament or think about what I have missed.

Since I like to ponder a lot on my decisions, I sometimes wonder why did I choose this job, why didn't I just go to that other interview, why didn't I apply for more jobs? But I know God has His own way of telling me that I need this. If I just try to look at everything in a positive light, I might be able to realize that it's a valuable experience worth fighting for. If I try not to think about that place that I miss sooo much, I might find a way to start embracing the reality that I am not going back there any time soon.

A friend questioned me why is there a strong attachment to that place. I guess the only correct answer to it is that it was my sanctuary. It was like a place where I gather all thoughts. A place where I revive myself. A place where I forgive myself and I let myself fall in love again. A place where I became stronger. A place where I can be a drama queen without anyone judging. hihi...

One day, I will go back, even just for a day. I will make sure of it.

New life

2011-06-05T06:05:00.000-07:00

Halloooooiii

I admit I have left this blog to rust. I have been very lazy to update anything which is really not a good excuse at all. Besides, my self-conscious mode was kicking in and I was sooo paranoid to write about myself again.

Today I would like to announce to all my silent readers that if you have any suggestions on how to earn side income, please do share it with me. I believe that it is time that I look for the opportunity rather than wait for my next salary increment. I know I've only been back to the working world for about 2 months. I have taken a break for too long that I am starting to be a little bit complacent. I am also in need of a new attitude of life and do everything that I can to ease my worry of all the liabilities that are waiting to consume me. I need to find a solution, weigh the best option and take action fast.

I blame Melbourne for all this constant worry. I am missing it terribly and I would love to go back. One day I will. Life was soo much easier. I could run away from reality. It was a much simpler life. No traffic, no insecure people and complete work/life balance. Ahh the dream shall continue until I can finally reach it.

Can I just announce to the world that I am missing Mr. Hubs terribly. I've gone through 5 weeks. One more week to go!

Weddings

2011-03-06T22:38:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile! Sangat la malas nak update. Also, sometimes I suffer from self-conscious issues. Rasa macam mengada2 pulak nak tulis selalu and to update about my life. Suddenly it makes me feel weird that strangers or some aunties or uncles are reading my blog. So when the feeling has died down and when I feel less weary, that's when the idea starts flowing and here I am writing again

First thing first, the wedding was an absolutely amazing experience. Just like any other normal bride, I was nervous like crazy. One thing I recommend is to have someone close to you by your side throughout the entire journey because this person or in my case these 2 amazing people will help ease your mind off any unfavourable thoughts and even restraint you from becoming a bridezilla. I almost gave up and cried my eyeballs out but I know it was all part of the processes and by 6.10pm on the 4th of February, I was officially a wife and nothing can take away the feeling of finally sealing the relationship to a legal and religious bond. Alhamdulillah

I am mostly humbled and grateful to everyone who has helped organised both wedding receptions - KL and Penang. Although I wish I had been given more opportunity to contribute, I know it was done at my best interests and I thank everyone who has made it as beautiful as they can. I admire all the joint family effort who came by the house, weeks before the event and helped with all the cleaning, the making of DIY pelamin and house deco, the cooking and every other things they can think of to ensure smooth running of the day.

I am most definitely flattered and honoured that my other half managed to execute everything that we've planned and even went out of the way to making sure that every single aspect of the event is well thought of and well-managed. I know some guys don't usually like to participate in wedding preparation, but he definitely has set the bar higher than what I expected and despite all the hiccups, I love every single thing about the night. We wouldn't have done it without Perfect Day Planner who obviously helped lessen my hubby's stress and anxiety level. It's not easy to plan a wedding when both my husband and I are abroad but thank god for a wedding planner! Thanks to my brother in law too who came up with all the wonderful ideas to spice up the event. I should also thank our wedding decorator who helped visualize our ideas into a gorgeous setting. MasyaAllah, I wouldn't mind going through that night again!

So there goes my lengthy blog post on my weddings.

As for married life, I'm still adapting and it's definitely a different journey and a different challenge. I am loving every single second of it.

Wishing

2011-01-21T09:46:00.000-08:00

Ahhh I miss them sooo much...

I wish...hmm I wish!

Sentimental value

2011-01-18T08:05:00.001-08:00

Alamak sejak baik dari sakit perut ni tiba2 jadi sentimental pulak. Ni mesti kes red flag la ni sebab semua mende nak sentimental. Semalam, bila pikir kan, tak kisahlah berapa berat badan pun asalkan sihat walafiat sampai la ke tarikh2 yang penting tu.... Tula dia nikmat kesihatan Allah bagi tak pernah hargai. Bila dah sakit, cirit-birit la, pening2 la, baru ingat Ya Allah, cepat2 lah baik. Sejak sakit baru la terasa, alamak lepas ni tak bole nak mengada2 dgn parents lagi...especially bila mama masakkan bubur and bangun malam2 buta bagi minum air. See, kan dah kate sentimental mode dah sampai. Yes I know lepas ni mengada dgn Mr. Hubs la pulak tapi tak sama macam mengada dgn mak sendiri kan.

Bila tgk the state of bilik tidur sendiri, adus mcm ni ke gayanye orang nak kawin. Punyela malas nak put things into its rightful places. hihi... Tu belum tang memasak nye lagi. Tapi bile pikir2 balik, nak cuak buat ape. Dok Melbourne 2 tahun, bukannye makan pasir or menginap dalam khemah. Masa tu relax je buat semua mende. Balik rumah selepas seharian kat uni, terus gi dapur, bukak peti cari bahan nak masak utk 3 orang. Setiap 2 minggu beli groceries dgn housemate siap penuh 3 shopping trolleys. Tak kire lg layan kerenah Mr F yang datang Melbourne sampai 4 kali setahun. Itu sume kire training la tu. hihi...

Ya Allah, tgk countdown kat sebelah tu, rasa nak gugur jantung dah. Ala normal la kan rasa mende2 canni. Sudah2 lah tu

The girls

2011-01-12T08:00:00.000-08:00

I can't contain my tears. The truth is I'm missing the girls sooo much. They've been such great friends to me. I always love babysitting them even when they can be a bit too much to handle - this is especially when the sugar rush has started to kick in. How I wish I'm back in Nicholson!

Well i better set up a Skype date with the H's soon...

Transition

2011-01-09T01:05:00.000-08:00

Ada sebab kenapa kadang2 rasa nak balik Melben. Salah satunye sebab rindu gile kat anak jiran yang sgt comel dan bijak pandai. Rindu nak dgr adik bongsu diorang nangis tgh malam meragam sebab macam2 hal. Lepas tu petang2 lepas sekolah abis mesti dgr diorang masuk rumah berlari2 sepanjang hallway. (Yes somehow Melbourne houses are not soundproof). Dalam seminggu tu kadang2 almost everyday datang ketuk pintu depan rumah sampai nak pecah, suruh bukak pintu utk diorang sebab diorang nak datang lepak2. Yes they do that although they are only 7 and 5. Setiap kali jumpe mesti peluk diorang dulu and Rubs will start rambling about whatever she wanted to tell us atau pun tanye kitorang ade makanan best tak sebab diorang lapar. Rumah orang bujang biasa nya mesti lah ada makanan yang tak menyihatkan seperti cokelat atau chips. So budak2 tu la yang akan abiskan sebab kitorang mmg suke tinggal kan utk diorang.

Lagi satu rindu sgt dgn freedom utk kemana-mana tanpa rasa segan silu atau mintak kebenaran. Rindu nak gi jalan2 kat city dgn hanya naik tram. Tak yah berebut2 kereta bila nak jumpa member. Bila2 rasa nak lepak, bole keluar je. Kalau rasa malas nak basuh pinggan, bole tinggal kat sink sampai esok tgh hari baru basuh, takde sape nak potpet. Kalo rasa nak lepak atas katil satu hari layan youtube atau tgk cite Glee pun suke hati lah. Rindu sgt nak naik beskal pegi uni sebab berbasikal di Melben sgt nyaman. Rindu nak rasa buat dessert and then check2 takde barang kat fridge so gi jalan gi Foodworks yang hanya 3 minutes dari rumah and beli ape yang patut. Rindu nk gi jalan kat 7 angels and deborah k carik baju yang berharga $10 semata-mata utk fill in my desire utk shopping. Dahlah only $10, size pulak berlambak, takla rasa gemok je all the time.

Baru 3 minggu balik, dah rasa cam nak pindah. Terimalah kenyataan, semua tu dalam kenangan so kene belajar utk move on. Brace yourself for more changes to come...

The Transition Graph...

Obviously sekarang tgh level first shock and minggu ni graph dh mule jatuh

cepat2 lah masuk recovery phase and terus sampai level transformation

Emo

2011-01-06T22:31:00.000-08:00

How can you wake up one day and feel sooo angry at everything. It's way too early to be having PMS I reckon. Why can't this headache be gone and why do I have to be hungry all the time. Grrr.

I'm just irritated by all voices in the world today. If I could I would rather be back at Nicholson and minding my own business

Reception 1 and 3 dress - checked

2010-12-26T00:49:00.000-08:00

I've received many comments on my weight gain. I admit that I have been eating more that I usually do during my last month in Melbourne. Well, everyone would eat more when they spend the whole day walking around the city or just walking around shopping. Plus, mummy dearest was around - which means proper meals. hihi.. Unfortunately for me, all extra fat are usually stored on my cheek and tummy first before you can see the difference in any other parts of the body. So thank you for noticing my chubby cheeks and bloated tummy. Grr

I had to become a pengapit for my cousin's wedding on Christmas day and the whole time I was standing on the dais, all I could think about was how fat I was and how I wish I could run a few miles just to burn all those calories. Hihi.

I have chosen the wedding dress for the other 2 receptions. That was easy. I was nervous that I couldn't find one dress that will satisfy all parties but everything went well and I'm still thinking about my weight gain right now as I'm typing all these words. Shooohhh... Okay, let's stay focus....Oh heck, bye I'm changing my clothes and will be going out for a run.

Reception 2 dress - checked!

2010-12-23T01:39:00.000-08:00

Went to the designer to discuss the wedding dress. Okay I'm a bit nervous and excited about how it's going to look like. I am extremely cautious about my waist to hip area. Frankly, if you want to make me feel down, just make any comments on that area and it would bother me the whole day. I could be sad and critical about myself for days. I hope it won't make me look fat. That's all I want. Haha.I am sure SH is going to make me look great, I just hope Mr. F is going to agree.

I bet I am the most easiest client to deal with because I really don't have a specific dream wedding dress. I sort of know what I like and what I don't but I am very flexible on how the design should be. I blame my factual/scientific background for my lack of creativity. You can just give me a bouquet of flower and like a handbag to decorate for a hantaran and I would be very stressed out trying to get everything in symmetry and ended up with a very beginner work of art. I bet a 12 year old is able to produce a better masterpiece than me. Yeap, I'm pathetic like that. I love pretty things but I like to hire people to make things pretty for me.

Can't wait to meet the tailor for my solemnisation dress!

Can't wait to get this all over and done so that I can look at the outcome.

Hey Malaysia!

2010-12-21T16:52:00.000-08:00

Post berangan

I have never painted any ideas on how my wedding would be like. Lately, I have envisioned it to be an intimate event where I only invite people that I actually know and I'm close with. It would be set in a lush greeneries overlooking a stream of river with jazz music playing on the side and guests nibbling some finger food whilst waiting for the bride and groom. The announcement of the bride and groom is made, B&G walk along the aisle to the dais which only use the nature as the background and some wild flowers for additional touch.

Okay so maybe I am still in awe with the beautiful Tasmania. How can anyone not love Tassie? My Tassie adventure entails another set of blog post so I'm not gonna continue rambling.

I went to get my measurement yesterday but couldn't get the design right because the designer had an important meeting with those VVIP who just steal designers away from their customers because VIPs have more important issues than the rest of people in the planet. hihi. Well, cest la vie. I know I have a month left (gulp) but I'm just not gonna let it bother me too much.

I am still jet lag. Whatever that is. I don't believe time difference of 3 hours can give you jet lag, but somehow, I'm sleepy at 8pm and can't barely open my eyes at 10pm. The annoying thing is, I am awake every hour from 5pm until I can't force myself to sleep anymore at 8pm. huhu.

Gotta get ready to have home cook Nasi Lemak! yeay!!!

Fantastic Adventure

2010-12-18T05:59:00.000-08:00

The big day is finally over. I have been extremely tired to even think about the big graduation. It was my second and it was more relax than I ever expected. Besides keep leaving stuff behind and running around uni to find it, it was all worth the wait- took awesome pictures with family and friends sans professional photographer and had a nice dinner at Sofia with friends and Ms P was kind enough to drive my family to Camberwell and back to Thornburry.

I know it sounds soo cliche but yes I could never have pulled it off without my beloved parents. Oh yes, they have sacrificed so much and I am forever grateful.

I always say that Mr. Fiance deserves 30% of my Master because of all the proofreading and editing that he has to make especially when I was too cranky and tired to re-read my assignments. For that, I would like to congratulate him for surviving 2 years of mood-swings and 'I-know-what-I'm-doing-stop-nagging' attitude.

I have to give a special shout out to my lil bro for being cool enough to answer those late nights meltdowns through sms especially when I have some disagreements with the significant other. Wished he could have joined the event today. It would have been awesome to have him around

All in all it was a fantastic adventure and if I have the money I would beg hubby-to-be to let me stay in Melbourne longer. I'll be back, I promise

So long Melbourne.

p/s: i cant hardly open my eyes right now, so please ignore those odd phrasing and awkward grammar

Tears and Goodbyes

2010-11-30T03:22:00.000-08:00

The hardest thing about moving on is saying goodbyes. I thought I could be strong and just smile as I hug and bid them farewell. Instead, we were all bawling. Two years flew by and we had grown so close to each other.It breaks my heart into little micro pieces having to leave them. I am not sure if they are going to remember 'the girls' next door as much as we would in 10 years time, but I do hope that when they do look back, somewhere at the back of their mind, they can recall that there used to be 2 girls living next door at Nicholson and we had shared loads of fun together.

To A & T, you were the 'coolest' parents ever. Thank you for entertaining all those frequent requests and helping out in every way that you can. To M, R and A, I hope we'll see each other again and may you girls grow up to become amazing artists/dancers/ any other things you aspire to be.

To Melbourne, I am leaving you soon.

As I look back and ponder

2010-11-24T22:28:00.000-08:00

Can't believe it's coming to an end. Just the thought of it makes my heart twist. I know it sounds cliche but I really can't believe that it's been two years. All the struggles and hiatus are finally over. Right now, the house is almost empty. We're sleeping on an air mattress, all clothes are packed in boxes except those i'm keeping for the next one month. I wish I could just stay longer, but my new life awaits me and I'm also looking forward to the next chapter.

There are just way too many things that I will miss, mostly the freedom to find your own dreams. I enjoy meeting new people. Although I didn't become as extroverted as I wanted to, I know it's a great lesson to learn and I need to constantly push myself to achieve great things from now on. It's okay if I falter, life is all about experience right?

I am going to miss out watching my adorable neighbours grow up to be amazing and free-spirited girls. I've learned so much from them and their parents. I realised that most important lesson to teach a child is to let them learn and experience life as a child. Shape their minds by valuing each skills and encouraging them to experience and experiment. I understand why the Australian/Westeners interact the way they do or even think the way they do. They have been encouraged to do so since young. I hope I don't forget to instill these spirit into my children when I have one. InsyaAllah

I will miss the freedom to do things on my own, make mistakes and learn how to be better. I admit I was sooo damn lazy the last semester. I just had to push myself constantly although I always ended up doing everything to the very very last minute. I realised that my brain can't take too much information in a day. I like to plan but I never follow through and almost all the time, I can't wait to be done with everything.huhu. That was how difficult the battle was for my last semester. I did make it through though. 3rd December will be the ultimate outcome of everything that I've worked for. InsyaAllah I will graduate

I hope when I board that plane to my home town, I would look back and be proud of myself. I made it through my master. I hope to be humble and kind. I hope it won't make me boastful. I hope I learn to acknowledge and respect people and I hope people won't misjudge me. The road I've taken IS for everybody, if you set your heart and mind into it. So I'm sure with determination, everyone can get through it. I'm really no better than anybody else. My passion is just different. I love to learn and that is all there is to it! In other words, I'm a nerd ;)

Bliss

2010-11-16T19:42:00.000-08:00

Don't get why people can be rude. What a total mood killer.

No more exam! Yippee.. Spent a great Eid day to mark the end of exam ever. The weather was beautiful, the walk from uni to Collin st was a breeze (it's quite a distance, mind you). The fabulous choc frappe from Ganache Choc, yummiest macaroon from Lindt and the delighful chicken and seafood dumpling from Chinatown Restaurant at Swanston st., I wouldn't want it any other way. Thanks friends for making it perfect.

Went home feeling content and had a really nice early sleep in.

2 more assignments to go...come one!

p/s: I did a crazy thing today.I cut my front hair cos I wanted it to be shorter. Totally ruined it but thanks to hairclips it doesn't look so ugly.Cant wait for weeks to come when they grow back.

Keep it up

2010-11-15T00:03:00.000-08:00

When I think about all those things I've done, my heart bleeds. How Allah has blessed me with so many good things in life and how I haven't done much to show Him my appreciation. How selfish I've been. No matter how many wrong turns I took, He still answers my prayers. Sometimes I feel embarrassed to even want to ask more things from Him, believing that maybe I do not deserve it. I know He hears me and in my weakest and darkest point, I know only He understands.

I have to put a stop to this procrastination. My life depends on the last 3 hurdles. I will go through my last battle and InsyaAllah I will graduate.

To infinity and beyond!!!!!!!!!!!!

Power of acceptance

2010-11-12T07:42:00.001-08:00

Sometimes you ask yourselves soo many questions to know whether you've made the right decisions. You then asked God if He can show you some guidance. You keep on searching and you realised maybe the sign is within you but you just don't wanna accept it.

Once you've made the transition, you ask The Almighty for the strength to go through any hurdles. You asked Him for His blessings. You realised that you are no longer afraid of that decision any more. It's right because it feels right.

Accepting is a powerful decision. If the journey ends in a different direction, well so be it. I know I was brave enough to even decide and accept it in the first place.

Don't give up

2010-11-11T19:30:00.000-08:00

Psssttt,

Mummy dearest is planning the whole wedding event for moi twice (KL and Penang)! I'm gonna have three receptions. hihi. One for all my lovely friends and awesome family, one intimate event for his friends and family and another one networking event for my dad's colleagues and VIP guests.

All three events will have totally different 'themes', totally different crowds and surroundings, totally different expectations and totally different looks. I'm looking forward to the dressing up, maybe not so much on the hurdles that I have to go through. Well, it's all part of the processes right.

Being a natural people pleaser, I hate it when I think I've offended someone or anyone. It tears me into pieces just thinking about it. So wedding preparation is such a challenge for my poor heart and mind. Oh yes, there are times when I want to give up and think, well here I am trying to make everyone happy, but who cares about my fragile heart? It's all part of the processes kan...

7 days to go to finish all uni-related stuff. My mind can't take any more studying after this.

Nuisance thoughts, go away!

2010-11-09T06:43:00.000-08:00

Way to go for making me feel like a minion and unimportant.

I know i'm not the money making machine, i'm just exploiting my mind to supposedly quench my thirst of self-improvement. It's just a selfish act to prove to myself that I'm better than what I think I am.

What do I know about struggle? Wait, what about the huge sum of moolah I need to pay.

Well, it's just bad timing. I'm starting to feel the pressure. Serves me right for leaving everything to the last minute again.

I hope tonight is a better night to fall asleep. I can't waste another 3 to 4 hours of laying on my bed with my brain refusing to shut down.

The End is Near

2010-10-28T08:28:00.000-07:00

Okay so the plan is to write how I feel before the end is official and then compare the difference. So here goes

Tomorrow is going to be my last day at uni. It would also probably be my very last time in uni as a student unless I wanna do Phd which i have no intention of doing any time soon. Well never say never kan...

I feel a bit relieved that I managed to go through the hurdle of 2 years squeezing my brain out. There were times when I just wanna get the hell out of this country, there were also those times when I don't think I ever wanna leave. I know I need to face the reality and get back to my old routine if I can ever find that routine again.

I'm excited for things to come but I also need to be real and be really2 patient for my next hurdle- job search. I may not enjoy the process entirely but it's something that I have to do so I need to buckle up and get ready to sell myself, in a professional way of course!

I can't believe it's finally happening. Ya Allah berat sungguh nak habiskan. Memang banyak dugaan sepanjang 2 tahun ni. Doakan everything will end smoothly for me.

Cerita lain pulak, just realised that my wedding is going to be in 3 months. Oh No!!! I wish I can share all the preparation stories but I feel so conscious to talk about it cos I feel like it might sound as if I'm bragging or something. Please pray that the preparation will go on as smooth as possible and most importantly please pray that there's no big conflicts from any parties!

Fashion Faux Pas?

2010-10-23T22:58:00.001-07:00

Yeah call me a hypocrite. Whatever. I know my dressing sense doesn't really follow the real guidelines. I am working towards that. However, there's one fashion sense that I feel is totally inappropriate:

I find it most annoying when you combine leggings and hot pants/short skirts/short dress with your hijab.

In my book, that's just pushing the limits. It's just weird. Imagine if you wear those in Malaysia. lol. Then again, it's freaking hot in Malaysia. Who would wanna wear those high threadcount leggings in Malaysia anyway

I was twice guilty of wearing leggings with a long dress. I spent the second time wishing I could go home and put on a decent pair of pants. Totally ruined my night! My fashion faux pas.

At random

2010-10-20T20:35:00.000-07:00

Last 2 weeks of school...come on babeh!!

Sooo many things to do. Soo little time...Tapi still got time to update blog...haiya...

I am going to miss Melbie soo damn much. I wish I can stay longer, I want to but sape mau sponsor me money??? dushhh ( that's a reality penumbuk to my face to remind myself that i need to stop berangan)

Feels like it was just yesterday that I took a brave plunge to down under because I was demotivated, frustrated and disappointed with my life (drama queen moment again).

I was talking to Rubs the other day and she said 'please don't ever forget us' (while holding back her tears)...awww...heartbroken sekejap...

Why does the uni decide to change their student admin system n caused a massive problem esp the grad date. Why does it have to happen this year!!! Flights from 24 onwards is sold out. Since the price between AirAsia and MAS is sooo similar i rather take MAS...tapi kalau dah sold out, nak naik apa...hmfff...balik in January la nampaknye...NO!!!

I'm worried kalau i just can't go home in December, i might just let go off the dream of getting the designer to design my dress and just opt for whatever collection she has...oh pls let me have this one dream without it being taken away too....

p/s: yes this post has defy all grammar rules of any sort of continuation from one paragraph to the other

Being lazy

2010-10-11T17:57:00.000-07:00

Kenapa kene malas. Tinggal 2 bulan je lagi. Adoi...macam mana nak elak kemalasan. Well, you can start by not giving anymore excuses and stop finding other things to do BUT your main task.

Tahu, tapi tak mahu buat

Marah tapi tak nak berubah

Dah gemok tapi tak nak exercise

Nak keje tapi tak nak update resume

Nak save duit tapi tak nak berenti shopping

Nak balik for good, so pls la jangan malas lagi. Kalau ada peluang bole duduk sini lagi lama kan. Tapi kalau malas semua melepas okay

Sekian terima kasih

p/s: Smokey dah mandi and he smells goooooddd

On My Own

2010-10-06T05:54:00.000-07:00

Arghh selalu canni. I'm not so good with myself. I find it hard to be alone. I reckon it's because I had to say goodbye to my dearest bestie who was here to cheer me up for a week. Now that she's back all I could think about is I wanna go home. I knew this would happen.

Come on girl. The ticker says you have less than 100 days to go. I can do this!!!

Can I not go home but have everyone with me here instead? Seriously, Melbourne is a great place to live. Come to Melbourne people...

p/s: my room mate is coming home tomorrow so that should be fun.

That vintage fashion

2010-09-28T09:28:00.001-07:00

Lately I've been eyeing this 'block shape' vintage bag. I've seen a lot of Melbournian fashionistas wearing them. Went to look for it at Scavengers shop near my house but didn't really find one that I like. Maybe I should try Brunswick St. Not only bcos I live a street away from the popular shopping strip but it's also a vintage haven. I will hunt for one before I go home. That will be in my To-Do list before I leave Melbourne. In the meantime, for the Spring Season 2010, Oroton came out with sth similar to my likings

credit to style.com

What constitute a hantaran bag? Hint hint hint...haha..

Is it just me or Daria Werbowy is sooo smokin'

Tick tock

2010-09-26T08:57:00.000-07:00

Check out the ticker at the side....

It's drawing near..yeay. Today is definitely the day when I wish I could go home. I suddenly wish I could be with that someone to give him emotional support.

Come on girl. You can do this. Stop the laziness and start working!!!

Disappointment

2010-09-23T02:19:00.000-07:00

Ada sikit kecewa. Maybe sebab I didnt take my time to think it through and I was just rushing it off when I filled up the form. At least, I was a part of it last year and it had lead me to my current job. I'm thankful for that. Ada jalan lain yang x visible to me yet. xpe2 kita tunggu

Courage and Trust

2010-09-20T07:40:00.000-07:00

Learn to let go
No matter how hard it is
No matter how much it bothers you
No matter how much you want it to change

Have patience
Have courage
Trust that it's all part of the test
Trust that Allah knows best

If this road leads to a greater path, I am surrendering myself to you My Lord because I have no power, I have no sense to make out the future. Let me believe that this is temporary and that the end light I see is drawing near. I seek forgiveness to You as You are The Almighty The Merciful. Help me get through any hardship without any inch of doubt. I can make it through this

"And My Mercy embraces all things". (7:156)

Raya is going to be on the same day with Malaysia

2010-09-08T05:06:00.000-07:00

Oh my, it just occurred to me that this is going to be my very last raya before I start a new journey celebrating Eid with my very own family. This is also the first time ever that I'm celebrating it on my own without my family. They came to Melbourne last year to celebrate with me but this year I'm on my own. I seriously dunno which is going to make me feel more overwhelmed - the fact that I get to experience raya on my own or the fact that next year (InsyaAllah) raya will have to be split between two families....(butterflies are sprinting in the stomach at the thought of this)

Although I am very sad that Ramadhan is finally over (how time flies), I sometimes wish I can have a universal remote control to slow things down a bit. I dunno if I'm ready to go home yet. Oh well, just last night I was lamenting about how much I miss MY and how I wish I could go home as soon as possible. Talk about being a spoiled brat.

I hope this is not going to be my very last Ramadhan and I wish for blissful and blessful life ahead. Selamat Hari Raya everyone. I'm at least thankful for all the great friends I have here.

-Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum-

The one that always makes me happy

2010-09-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

Never disappoint

Never lets me down

Never lets me frown

Never fails to amuse me

I love him more than I can say....Each time when i feel like crying, he'll be there to comfort me with his undivided attention...I feel so loved and lucky everyday!!!

gerammmmm

my little munchkin pumpkin

credit pic to my dear room mate

Shopping Mania

2010-09-01T07:52:00.000-07:00

You know what??

I wish I can stay in Australia a little bit longer and earn Australian dollar. Besides having to gain priceless experience of working outside my comfort zone, I would also be earning Australian dollar..get it AUD? So when I do my shopping here, it doesn't look so expensive. I could go into a designer shop, and think..oh that's like almost how much I earn in a day...Yeah, did I mention that the basic wages here is pretty high. I'm a sucker for online shopping. I admit that I haven't done it for a looongg time...it's so addicting and there's sooo many websites to go. I found one interesting site though. I dunno if I can ever afford it now...but someday I will. Especially if I get the chance to work in Aussie..hihi...so if you ever feel like having a feast..with your eyes la...visit the page below...who knows you could be like the one who can afford it. I know I can buy it now...but well like I said, that's pretty much ALMOST how much I earn in a day. I actually need the money for sooiii many other things, like food for daily consumption, mounting phone bills...etc...well student life, you know the drill aite...

http://www.reebonz.com/member_invite/hanahasan

----free shipping, to malaysia some more, woot!-----

tempting nyeeeee

oh below are also other sites that i love to go to..tp for Aussie jerr...except number 3,maybe ada worldwide kot

1. OzSale

2. BrandsExclusive

3. Modnique - this is yang bapak punye expensotttt...tapi cuci mata apa salah nye kan

ada banyak lagi..tapi cukup for these ones dulu la kays...hihi...the rest cuci mata websites I have are all Aussie designers...

p/s: I'm in love with the shoes from Belanci yang tengah sales... Seriously cantikkk, tapi too high....nak pakai gi mana ntahhh

Easy A - The movie

2010-08-25T04:18:00.001-07:00

Don't usually write movie reviews cos I'm too conscious about my views being really bias. I usually watch a movie because there are good reviews out there, or I just like some of the actors. So I got these free tickets to watch the preview of Easy A. The trailer was really funny and then there was Penn Badgely's hot bod! Anyway, Contagious Network was kind enough to supply the tickets.

I had to watch alone because the timing coincides with the iftar time. Okay now i'm feeling guilty about watching a movie during Ramadhan. Well, since I'm on holiday, and I just felt like going out, I watched it anyway

The storyline was simple - an almost non-existense high school girl made up lies about sleeping around when she is actually a virgin. It started out as a favour to help a gay friend but somehow words spread around and she suddenly became really popular in a bad way. I dunno being called a slut would constitute being cool but I guess everyone has their own mission in life. At first, she embraced the lies but after a while it started to affect her friendship and also her social life. Oh wait, is it just me or Amanda Bynes' face just look kinda like bloated in the movie? It looks soo fake, I actually hated it...haha...The film centers a lot on the Scarlet Letter story. I've heard about her but have never read the book. I am after all born and raised in KL..it's not like we read all these stuff in school.

The funny part was mostly when she was embracing her role as a school slut. The nerds would strike a deal about her giving them sexual favours in return for gifts when it was just all made up. Also, Olive (the name of the lead character, by the way) has such a cool and hilarious parents. My favourite part was when Olive was so angry at her new 'identifier' that she made all these angry sound and her father came into the room and thought that...oh well you gotta see it for yourself to be funny. Haha.. Another interesting part was that she has an adopted brother and he is not Caucasian. It's kinda like making fun of American celebrities who adopt kids from other races just to show how open minded they are. Well I'm sure they are open minded...hihi.

So, I guess you gotta see it for yourself and judge it. Oh yes, did I mention that Penn Badgely aka Dan Humphrey (Gossip Girl) is really hot. I mean really!

Ramblings and weddings

2010-08-24T03:39:00.000-07:00

Let's write about something fun

I am officially a lazy bum. I need to stop this slacking off and start doing what I'm supposed to do - complete my assignments. Yeay, that's fun!

I've been blog-hopping a lot. The topic of interest nowadays is none other than weddings. I didn't know the existence of soooiiii many wedding blogs by fellow Malaysian. It's fun to read about their views, experience and whatever else they choose for the wedding. I have also shamelessly PM-ing some of my friends whenever I spot them with a very nice dress/photographers/videographers. The only downside is that I'm here, stuck at the land of downunder. Although I love every single second of moment of it (well not really, due to the cold weather), I still wish I could spend at least a week to sort out some matters. You know like the whole prewedding course or trying out the wedding dress for the groom side. So I have to settle for internet research and following my gut feelings.

I just wish that Malaysian utilize this thing called the email function. One thing that I take for granted here is that everyone actually checks their email and reply like promptly. Seriously, it's like no one ever replies their email in Malaysia. Well not everyone, but some. I am always happy for those who can give me feedbacks in like a few hours or at least one or two days after. That shows a lot about your commitment with your work and your respect to your customer. Also, I would appreciate it, if you could update your portfolio, because, well, it shows that you are committed with every aspect of your business. Online marketing is an integral part of a business too.

Sigh, well, the plan is, find what I like, contact them, get necessary quotes and subsequent decision will be made by the fiance himself. Although I wish I could write every single detail about my wedding prep, I don't think I can because I'm not in MY. Most research is just for self-satisfaction and the fiance has to listen to my ramblings and hopefully he will take the hint.

p/s: I enjoy reading this: http://4weddingku.blogspot.com/

A bit of courage

2010-08-22T03:54:00.000-07:00

sedih.bila apa yang disampaikan ,disalah ertikan. n it's gonna haunt me for a long time. i get all jittery when i feel like i'm hurting someone. i took it to my heart n it will bother me for a while. why do i get to be so soft-hearted?

I wish i'm not on the red flag. I know Al-Latif listens to me no matter what. Must believe in Him. He, The All-Knowing, knows.

The Way You Lie

2010-08-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

Well that's alright because I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

Powerful lyrics. Did you see how Rihanna sang it in the video? There's something about this song. Love is blind. I hope The Almighty won't ever let me be blinded.

People pleaser

2010-08-10T06:56:00.000-07:00

Remember that time when you sacrifice a lot of things cos you wanna satisfy certain people or else you're probably gonna get a long lecture or even you're gonna be blamed for not being 'good' enough. There are also times when you have to sort of pay for those times when u did not put that 'effort' and you end up getting hurt.

I cant stop thinking about those things that I missed out because I shifted my priority to satisfy others. I wonder how it's gonna be like several years down the road. Do I matter anymore?

I am such a people pleaser. Always putting others above my own needs. Sigh...I wonder how long more can I put up with this 'too nice' attitude?

Dream Holiday

2010-08-09T01:10:00.000-07:00

Saw my dear friend wrote about her dreams. It sort of inspired me to write about mine. I'm gonna focus on my travel dreams for now

1. New Zealand - InsyaAllah if I get another extra job I put this in my must visit place before I leave Melbourne

2. Great Barrier Reef - must go after I get my diving license in Sipadan. hihi

3. Backpacking around Europe - preferable for a month! Although that would not happen if I work in Malaysia unless I get a superflexible employer.

4. Volunteering/Holidaying in one of the wildlife park in Kenya- Why Kenya? It's because I did an assignment on conservation in Kenya and suddenly felt like a connection to it and just had to go and see it for myself.

5. Maldives - preferably with the other half **wink wink**

6. Bali baby - same description as no. 5

7. Learn to Ski in Switzerland

8. Uluru - once i'm a skilled photographer cos I wanna capture the breathtaking view of the famous sandstone rock formation. A road trip around the Central Australia would be awesome too

10.Shopping in New York

11. Antartica - there's sth about being surrounded by ice and seeing the penguins, the seals and the polar bears that simply intrigue me

12. I wanna work in Melbourne so that I can afford going to all these places due to the currency exchange factors. Enuff said

So there you go. If I can achieve 6 of these 12 dreams, I am more than happy.

It's like waking up in a dream

2010-07-31T20:21:00.001-07:00

google image

There are two important events that I wished I had not missed. I mean like physically I was there, but mentally I was in another planet. I can recall probably each moments but I also feel that I was within a dream. Like I haven't got the 'kick' to get out of my dream yet. The reason - sleep deprivation.

The first was a surprised birthday party. I had a great time but I was also very tired from sleeping mere 3 hours the night before. If I could turn back time I would want to re-live the day because 'I' would have been more fun. I felt like I wasn't there as much as I wanted to. My thought processes were slow and I can see from my pictures that I was really tired.

The second was the engagement. Again, it was one of those moments-you'll-remember-forever, but I had a hard time sleeping simply because I made a hole on the stupid scarves from ironing and was too upset from the stupid row I had with the other party. I still felt it was surreal or maybe I was just overwhelmed with the fact that I'm halfway there...

Mission from now on: be calm and sleep when you are supposed to get some sleep. Easier task to think about than to actually execute

Oh No!!

2010-07-16T02:37:00.000-07:00

You know what makes me feel sad right now? I'm leaving my country to go back to my second home...oh wow I cant believe I'm calling it my second home. I am also disappointed that I'm not gonna be there for most of the wedding preparation of myself! Not that I have to do every little detail of the wedding myself... When it comes to having a 'big' family where everyone loves to get involve and actually get down and dirty with everything, there's gonna be a lot of people to listen to and I don't think my voice will be heard that much anyway. It's not necessarily a bad thing because I have soo many willing hands to help that I feel guilty about turning them down. Yeap, I'm happy everyone wants to help my poor mummy who has to figure out a lot of stuff on my behalf while I'm gone. It can be stressful when there's a clash of ideas especially concerning an area where my fiance is most particular about and that makes me extremely nervous.

Everything is still at an initial step right now. I know it's not gonna be a completely smooth journey, but I pray that I have the patience and strength to go through it and that everyone can be tolerant towards each other. That's not too much to ask right?The next good thing is at least I get to take part in it, even at the very last minute of it. I can also churn out my ideas on his side n he usually step it up a few notch because he is very, I mean very meticulous.

Now, let's study better, cycle more, save more and shopping less unless it's for hantaran ;)

Revisiting JM, Melbourne, May 3, 2010

2010-07-08T06:59:00.000-07:00

It's long overdue, I know. It came at a time when I was busy preparing for my final semester exam. Now I'm ready to rekindle the moment with JM

It was a beautiful warm night even when autumn was drawing closer to the end. A week before JM was filled with never-ending assignments, lamenting to those who care to listen about the mental block and the lack of drive to continue till the end. I almost forgot about JM. Yeap I was that busy.

Arrived at Rod Laver Arena wishing that the impeded view gold class seat won't really impede the intimate chance to meet with JM. I was super elated to know that it was indeed a 'clear' and 'close-enough' view. Orianthi started the show with her crazy skills with the guitar. She's one hell of a guitarist and I secretly wished that I could play like her one day.

Then, came JM. The thrill and excitement was building up in my chest and then he started with Assasin. All I could think about was there he was, JM, standing right in front of me, singing with his beautiful voice and suddenly I was floating. Okay I know, I exaggerate a lot there. But hey, it was JM please. I was captivated, mesmerized and content. I might sound bias cos he is one of my favourite musician but sometimes, putting aside his big mouth, there is no need of an extravagant stage or elaborate costumes, just JM and his guitars (not to forget his awesome band) are enough to keep me motivated for the whole week.

My favourite part of the show was this (I was seated much much closer than this youtuber) -

It was the last encore song of the night. It was exactly how I wanted him to end the show. Although I had wished he would play Daughter and Friends, Lovers or Nothing, I am more than happy that he chose Gravity. I left the concert craving for more and vowing that I would one day see him again. Someday, I will.

One of the good shots that I managed to take from my camera

JM's setlist:

1. Assassin
2. No Such Thing
3. Vultures
4. Waiting on the World to Change
5. Perfectly Lonely
6. I'm On Fire
7. 3x5
8. Stop This Train
9. All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye
10. Belief
11. Who Says
12. Bigger Than My Body
13. Heartbreak Warfare
14. Half Of My Heart
Encore:
1. Why Georgia
2. Gravity

This is why I'm hot

2010-06-22T20:53:00.001-07:00

google image

Alhamdulillah

Feels good to be home, surrounded by the very people who define my existence in life. The people who never fails to remind me about what I've been missing, what I can look forward to and what makes me complete. Yes I am a drama queen. If you have been reading my blog you would know that I am a fan of drama.haha. Just being home around my family can overwhelm me. Although there is the occasional feeling that there's-just-too-much-heat-i-rather-be-back -for-winter-chill, I can still go on for another few weeks like this. I love my homely home and the people in it ;)

Reasons to smile

2010-06-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

When you feel things are getting harder and you just don't know what else to do. Take a deep breath and tell yourself there's nothing else in the world stopping you from reaching that goal. So go and get them!

When you cant seem to find that inner peace and you are suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. Well, take a step back, perform wuduk and pray to the Almighty.

When you want that someone to be there on your most emotional ride, you are scared and you wanna believe again, only to realise that you're on your own. Listen to your heart, Allah is listening to you. Hold on, there are people who care and they are sending warm wishes.

and then there was him. Always passionate and loving, loyal but sometimes annoying. He was there during my tears and laughters, giving me sunlight when I only see grey. I love you Smoke and I am gonna miss you when you go back to your real family.

I'm Smokey and I love my catsitter ;)

Let's fly with me

2010-06-13T23:08:00.001-07:00

picture courtesy of guardian.co.uk

There are certain things in life that requires much more thoughts than the rest. There are times when you think you are sure of something that you want, only to have reality put a different spin on your life. I guess where I am getting right now is that I have another semester to go, I want to complete this, I want to keep moving forward. I can't keep dwelling of the past and really be courageous enough to move on. So I'm forcing myself to let it go. Those doubts and uncertainties have to go. The fears and crazy thoughts have to leave. Let's fly

Random thoughts

2010-06-09T22:59:00.000-07:00

So many doubts and uncertainty,
So many questions, justification and considerations,
So many of what IFs and what NOTs
So many fears and distractions
So many more, so little time

ArRahman ArRahim, guide me to find a piece of mind. Show me what is right. Don't blind me with irrationality and conceal me from any truth. Lord Almighty, in you I seek the answer.

Brazilian extraction

2010-06-01T20:39:00.001-07:00

I haven't had the chance to write about JM concert y'all. I need time when my mind is clear from the exam stress and teeth pain. That's when I'll dedicate my energy solely to writing about JM... **drooling**

I'm having a very bad wisdom teeth pain. It's so bad that I can't sleep and I swear small tears kept coming out of my right eyes because it's soo painful. No amount of pain killer can help to alleviate the pain. I have no choice but to remove it before it gets worse. Obviously it's not getting any better. The dentist is kinda hot - in a latin american way. Huhu. Walking into his dental clinic is like going to a telenovela show set. Is it normal to feel a little bit nervous about this teeth extractions. I am terrified that it might affect my concentration on my studies. I hope I recover fast enough to do really well in my exam.

Think Positive. I'm a smart and intelligent young woman. Nothing can stop me from my success. I can do this!

The Solemnization

2010-05-28T07:34:00.001-07:00

I've just witnessed one of the greatest moments in my life. The solemnization of my dearie beloved bff. Thank goodness for Skype! Thanks for being giving me good connection today. Although I've been getting shitty quality lately but today you were great to me. Thank you Skype for not failing on me!

Thanks to my other bestie for being cool enough to hold on to the laptop n making sure that I get the exclusive view of the whole event. Aww you are the best babe! I am sooo happy for NAA. I thought that I was gonna be all drama queen and bawl my heart out. Turned out I was just unable to contain my excitement. Hence, the shriek of laughters can be heard from the macbook in the middle of an important event..haha...Although I can't be there, at least I know what it was like. To hear and watch through the camera lense when Uncle J gave his daughter away to his son-in-law, that was good enough for me.

I miss everyone back home. I seriously do. I can't wait to go home now.

NAA may you lead a great new life. May you carve a wonderful new journey with the love of your life. May you be strong and patience to get through any obstacles that might come your way. I love you so much and I pray everyday that you have a blessful life ahead. Amin

The path I took

2010-05-11T07:32:00.000-07:00

I came over this article on facebook. A friend of friend (whom I do not know) posted this because the anon writer might have been a student in her school. Being away means that I'm always slow to get to know any news from my home country. I blame my laziness to read the online paper religiously for my lack of knowledge about Malaysia. So it makes sense that I did not know about the extended school hour for lower 6 students.. Hihi

This reminded me of the time when I was doing matriculation (best time of my life). Anyway, I remember having to go to class from 8am till 5pm. Our days were full of classes, labs and tutorials with only an hour break from 1pm-2pm. On top of that, the nights were filled with finishing up tutorials and lab reports and well I don't even know when I had the chance to squeeze some study time. Frankly, it was hectic but it was a lot of fun! Although some issues that she had discussed seemed rather 'manja' ish (hey I know some ppl say STPM is a lot harder, but trust me being in Asasi was pretty hard too because of the additional subject we have to take), some issues are still quite relevant. For instance, the issue of food price which has doubled ever since I left school and uni is an important topic to discuss. Transportation problem is a good issue that needs serious consideration too! Oh well, anon, wait till you decide to do Masters. You have all the time in the world but you gotta work everything out yourself. Somehow, there is never enough time for anything!

Life is not easy no matter what path you choose but you gotta find ways to work it out!

Now back to my assignment...

7 Achievable Things To Do

2010-05-09T06:26:00.001-07:00

Things to do when I get home

1. All you can eat Malaysian Food - from mamak to restaurant-ish food, I want them all!

2. Do not get fat from over eating - must maintain this weight! Although I feel fat right now

3. Go to the beach and swim in 26 degrees water! (Sea temperature in Victoria is usually 18 degrees, even in Summer) - wanna go back to Perhentian, or Lang Tengah!

4. Meet up with my BFFs and my close budies n catch up with them!

5. Pretty Spotty Tiger - miss them so much!!

6. Shopping - although I love shopping in Melbourne cos I can find lots of stuff that can fit me nicely

7. Figure out whether it's worth staying on in Melbourne or just stay in my beloved Malaysia, for good!

Ramblings

2010-04-29T00:58:00.000-07:00

My date with John Mayer is coming real soon. I can't wait. I'm in love with his music and immense talent. Although sometimes I think he should not be too 'smart-ass' and ended up saying the wrong thing, I still think that his music is sincere. I hope the seats are good. Please be good, I dunno when I can meet him again, so I pretty damn hope they're good seats.

On a side note, assignments are building up again. I had to abandon this new personal project I'm working on due to crazy assignments schedule. I had a one week break since the last submission. I'm starting to think that it might not have been a good idea taking a long break. I've messed up my time-management quite badly this week. My problem with sleeping is back, disrupting my activitites during the day. The thing is, I could be extremely tired during the day, and come night time, I'm as fresh as morning dew. NO MORE PROCRASTINATION!

About one month to go before exam week. One semester left to graduation. I must do this well.

Domestic goddess

2010-04-26T07:41:00.001-07:00

I know it's way too early to start thinking about buying kitchen stuff. I can't help it. I'm in love with Joseph Joseph! I cant decide whether to get Index Chopping Board plus, Digital scale shell or even the Orb Pestle and Mortar. The only problem is - it's EXPENSIVE

Wait, I just bought a heart shape measuring cup and measuring spoon from ebay.

A bargain ain't a bargain unless it's something you need~ Sidney Carroll

Do I really need it? Gee I dunno...I think it would look good in the kitchen! If I start saving now I could probably buy the chopping board from ebay in 2 months time (shaking head).

Home is where the heart is

2010-04-22T22:08:00.001-07:00

Keinginan mahu pulang semakin bertambah-tambah. 7 bulan lagi. Bole ke survive 7 bulan lagi ni. Bulan depan bonda terchenta bersama makcik2 dan pakcik2 nak datang melawat. I'm lucky, I know. Sejak datang melbourne sampai sekarang, visitor datang tak putus2. Every few months ade je yang datang. Tapi it doesn't stop me from being homesick. I appreciate ppl coming but I miss home. I absolutely miss home, my old life and my friends. U have no idea how lonely it can be here sometimes. No, it's not that I'm not thankful. I never doubt the fact that this is the boldest move I've ever made and I thank Allah everyday for letting me continue this journey. Alhamdulillah. It occurred in my mind that I can try and stay here a bit longer. But I really can't decide cos all I can think about is home. I miss home. Seriously, I do.

Get it going

2010-04-17T00:18:00.000-07:00

Stress level is at the max. Self-esteem needs to go up. Motivation has to go to the next level. Prayers can cure.

Ya Allah, help me clear any sign of doubts and insecurities.

Give me strength and patience to go through the multiple tasks

I know I belong here because of your Mercy and Eternal Love

It's just some assignments, not like I'm in the bloodshed battle field :)

The positive energy

2010-04-15T05:36:00.000-07:00

Something ain't right. Maybe, just maybe it's the red flag coming. Haha. Sounds pretty gross.

I'm a smart, intelligent and wonderful lady

I am confident and strong

I can do everything I set my mind to do

I value my friendship with people that I trust

I am not scared of changes and I am a winner

My happiness starts when I believe in myself

I wanna go home :'(

Corny much?

2010-04-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

I look at you and you look at me

You saw it in my eyes and

I think you can feel it too

That I'm falling for you

You say you want me no matter what I do

And I think I can do the same to you

Don' think this through,

This love is true

Cos others can say what they wanna say

But I really believe that we should stay this way

So baby don't hurt me don't you dare

Or I'll kick your ass and I'll go away

Don't let me slip away

I look at you and you look at me

You saw it in my eyes and

I think you can feel it too

That I'm for you

You say you want me no matter what I do

And I think I can do the same to you

I'm made for you

Let's get this through

Baby I Love you

The Hunting

2010-03-24T03:56:00.000-07:00

Adeh, they should never have imposed the question. It's freaking 12 months dari sekarang okay. So maybe it is part of the learning process or the report that we are supposed to submit. Tetapi, it has been haunting me since. I'm gonna get back on the same route. Looking endlessly at different websites, trying to figure out what I really want versus what is actually out there for me. Come to think about it, what do I really wanna do 12 months from now? Will I stay and find a job here? Will I go home and be lost again?

Kenapa my group mates were talking about going to Europe and work for a few months and then travel pulak? Sooo lucky okay. I know, I know, I can do it too if I want. But I don't wanna be 30 and like still not getting a stable job. The thing is I like to think so far ahead, so I feel that I need to secure a stable job as soon as possible. Cuba chill skit...

Wait, there's 12 months to go. I don't have to think about it yet, right?

Ahhh still 'rumahsakit'

Cooking disaster

2010-03-17T21:56:00.000-07:00

I'm officially a loser when it comes to making traditional Malay desserts/kuih

Susah okay. When it comes to making the kuih, it's not about following the exact same measurement because usually it doesn't really work. You have to 'just know' when it is 'just right'. Hence, I did a pretty bad karipap (curry puff) and i just messed up my fav kuih gelang/kuih keria/sweet potato doughnut. How hard can it be? Well first, I bought the wrong flour. I saw plain flour but my hand reached out to the self-raising flour instead. N tengah dok syok tambah tepung n checking the consistency, only then I realised that I have added too much, plus I glanced over the flour packaging and saw the word 'SELF-RAISING FLOUR' as if it was laughing at me for making a silly mistake. Again it's not about the measurement, it's about knowing when is right and getting the right ingredient too, dummy! It's never easy, especially when u r making it like once a year.

That's it I'm taking out the fillo pastry and am making spiced apple in a fillo cups. Yeap it's gonna be my second dessert for the day. I just wanna be happy okay!

the dessert is s'posed to look sth like this except it's filled with apple and not peaches and cranberries (in the picture)

I can see clearly now

2010-03-13T18:10:00.000-08:00

How can you wake up in the morning and feel sooo angry at everything? How can you just be annoyed at the tiny little noise, the shriek of laughter, the increasing tone of others and you just wish you have a remote control to tone down all the noises that annoys the life of you and at the same time you wish that Johnny Nash (or should it be Bob Marley? oh i cant choose beween those 2) would be standing right in front of you and start serenading It's Gonna Be A Bright, Bright, Sun Shiny Day.

There should definitely be a chill pill.

Now sing it with me everyone!

Alternatively, I should get up, take a shower and get ready cos Zohor prayer is starting soon. Aaahhh a better alternative don't you think?

The change

2010-03-11T03:27:00.001-08:00

Yeah I changed my blog layout like again. Haha. Something is not right with the last one cos every time when I try to open it, I was directed to some stupid websites like every few seconds. So I decided a change has to be made. I couldn't find the really great one yet but I'm settling with this one because it's so calming and easy on the eyes. The best thing is that blogger lets you keep your widgets now. I hate having to add all those widgets again especially my blog list. Hurgghh.

Can someone write a comment for me please. Haha. I just wanna make sure that it's working that's all.

Home Sweet Home

2010-03-10T01:33:00.000-08:00

picture from Fred Barnes, photography genius

Sigh I dunno why lately I get so tired after dinner. All I could think about is laying on my comfy bed and just dozing off. It has really taken a toll on my new year's resolution to follow a strict rule of studying routine every day. Lawan je gangguan syaitan ni. Biasalah kalau nak buat something good mesti banyak halangan kan?

I am homesick. I hope I can save enough money to go home. Unless my new job has an extremely great project to do in July, I think I am seriously considering going home. I know I have a few months to go by then but who am I kidding? It got to the point where all I care about is finishing up my studies n get the hell out of here. That ain't good people. I have to cherish my experience here. I know I received a lot of visitors over summer and will be getting another flock of visitors again in May but they are actually making me feel worse. Haiseyman...

The rant

2010-02-23T00:04:00.000-08:00

Adooo makk aiii... Fening fening fening. This is either due to my lack of nutrition today cos I'm on food strike after gaining 2 kilos ( u hv no idea what I had to go to to lose 10 kilos okay) or maybe just maybe because it's gonna be a looong 2nd last semester. Oh please don't make it long, i rather it pass me by so fast i cant even bother about my body weight. So anyways since yesterday I've been trying to decipher the best way to crack my timetable without clashing anymore subjects. I know I screwed up the first semester and to give myself just a little credit, it was a very 'mature-and-seriously-my-future-is-on-the-hold' decision that I made last year so the transition period was really hitting me hard. Since I should no longer be in that period anymore, i must be responsible to go through the busy schedule next semester and strike gold on all my subjects or I could just go home empty handed.

Take a deep breath. Exhale slowly. I can do this

I must follow this year New Year's resolution. Do not succumb to my natural personality who likes to do stuff and never completes it. Must finish what I've started. Must be much stronger this time. Do not feel overwhelm by all the subjects. Phiew

Dear God, I hope this time I won't slack off any more.

OMG OMG OMG, It's JM y'all

2010-02-17T19:44:00.000-08:00

Phiew what a month it has been. I had an extremely great time entertaining soo many guests from Malaysia. Shockingly I managed to become the official driver for all the long trips and I am quite proud of my achievement. Hihi. I rarely drive long distance cos there's either my significant other or my brother who will do the driving. I think I've filled up my quota of driving for this year by driving for about 3000km in a matter of 2 weeks. That's pretty impressive oto me

My brother had been kind enough to give me a guitar chord book for his rookie sister. He introduced me to the Aussie lass Orianthi who is going to be my guitar idol from now on. Hihi. I'm currently over the moon with the news that John Mayer is coming to Melbourne. I heart you JM! So far none of my friends here are a huge fan except my dearie roomie which is great cos I would have gone myself. It's freaking John Mayer man! The next good news is that Orianthi will be the supporting artist. Daymm how cool is that?

I'm freaking out. I'll be waking up early tomorrow to buy the tickets!!! I've got 3 months to memorize every lyrics and every single melody. Plus I should be able to play one of his songs beautifully by May. That's my next mission!

Be happy!

2010-01-15T04:49:00.000-08:00

When I decided to pursue my study in another continent nobody warned me about the events that I was gonna missed. It was a selfish journey and I made up my mind in quite a hurry. I knew that I wasn't that happy with my life at that point and I knew I wanted something more or maybe I wanted to buy more time doing other things than working. I was feeling stuck and in a lot of confusion. Changing surrounding was a perfect opportunity to bring back my old self and discover sth new.

Yes it has been a crazy journey and I'm loving every single second of it. However, I'm deeply sad that I dont get to be there on the most important events in my life: My bestfriend's engagement and wedding.

We practically grew up together and I'm grateful that we can maintain this friendship for so long. NAA - a neighbour, a friend, a sister and a great confidante. Tomorrow she's gonna start a new life as someone's fiance. In May she doesn't belong to us anymore. She has a noble role to take over - a wife!

I wish her all the happiness that she can get and a smooth journey through her engagement period. I realised now that what I miss most is the people that I care and love. I don't think I wanna be apart from them anymore. They complete me as a person. I think I'm ready to go home when this is all over. That's why I can't wait to go home in 11 months time. It's gonna be a breeze journey. InsyaAllah.

New Year

2010-01-08T01:18:00.000-08:00

prolificmusic.net

2010 is here. I have 12 months to go to finish my education. I hope time flies as fast as 2009 but I have also grow fond of this city and wish that I could stay here a little bit longer for my career. It's not that easy and so many things still need to be considered if I wanna move here permanently. Hihi. My holiday has been well-spent by doing absolutely nothing. There are times when I wish I could be back home cos I miss everything so much, there are also times that I wish I could get a good part time job which I might be starting tomorrow and of course there are times I would say to myself to stop complaining and just enjoy my time.

I've picked up the guitar finally. I'm still at the early stage of learning all the chords but it's been fun. I guess since I know how to play piano it's not so confusing to start a new instrument. I intend to finish what I started and hopefully I get to be good by the end of this holiday. Oh hold on a minute, I've got like 6 weeks to practice practice practice. At least I know I've accomplished something for the holiday.

When the going gets tough

2009-12-31T04:22:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness. It gets harder every time. Long-distance relationship is hard. Even though I've been through it for soo many times/years, it gets harder every time. How I wish distance is no longer our hurdle

Holiday rambling

2009-12-22T05:30:00.000-08:00

Holiday has been not too bad lately. Although I sometimes wish that I'm working but I'm trying to hold on and enjoy this moment. I've been trying to make desserts lately. It's the second attempt at making creme brulee and pavlova. Why both you might wonder? Well to make pavlova you need to use only the white eggs and to make creme brulee you'll only be needing the egg yolk. So there you go, 2 desserts made on one night. I forget to add in vanilla essence and vinegar to the pavlova but it still turned out to be better than the last one I made. I think I'll try something new soon. I'm starting to believe coming here was also a training for me to become more domesticated since I take things for granted at home. Oh well whatever keeps me happy.

I can't wait for my family to come again. What a life! Everyone keeps coming to visit me. I'm more than happy to meet them. Although I'll be going to the same places again but I think it's gonna be a different kind of fun. Most importantly I got some extra 2 1/2 days with my brother and finally we got to do something that caters to young people like us. Haha..That'll be loads of fun!! Also, I can't wait for March and I'm gonna start my work experience at WEHI!!! It's gonna be awesome. No, I'm gonna be awesome.

99 Balloons

2009-12-16T04:57:00.000-08:00

The hardest thing in life is to forget things you prefer not to think about anymore. Dwelling on the past and making your life miserable ISN'T gonna solve anything. Reminding yourself of what is more important in this life, what you want to change about your life now and what you can do to make a difference in your life will hopefully inspire you to be stronger and let you move on. Those cats out there will always harm you because they want to pull you down. As long as you know what you want and you believe in what you do, you will be on the right track to find your happiness. Be thankful that you are even alive. Celebrate life and happiness.

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
-- Albert Einstein

Home is where the heart is

2009-12-11T03:39:00.000-08:00

Ada hari rasa naaakkk sgt balik, especially bila tengok gambar2 kat fb.
Ada hari rasa okay je tak balik, sebab seronok jalan2 kat sini

Tapi hari ni, rasa nak balik sebab rindu sangat everything about Malaysia, the family, the food, the great friends and the boyfriend. Sometimes I wished I hadn't moved here tapi ni sume kan the test! Being away from the people and the place that you love makes you appreciate everything better.

Thank you Allah for letting me grow and be wiser. Thank you for making me have this life and be stronger. Thank you for letting me go through the transition period and reminded me that I still have a place in this world. I wouldn't wanna trade this life with anyone else.

New Year's Resolution

2009-12-09T00:23:00.001-08:00

Let's start with my 2010 New Year's Resolution. Although it is quite early to start doing so but I'm in a good mood to start one!

1. In God we trust
- Always put God above and beyond others.
- Trust yourself and trust that He always have better plan for you

2. Better time management.
- That means NO MORE last minute work.
- All assignment must be completed at least 3 days before the actual submission date to give ample review time

3. Follow strict study schedule
- Make a schedule and follow the plan religiously
- Make time to study at least 3 hours per day

4. Better financial management
- Think before you purchase
- Ask yourself each time 'Do I Really Need This?' If you can't justify 3 reasons why you need it, then DON'T BUY it.

5. Get a great job and be confident about it
- Show them that this Asian Muslim girl can do the job well and not just another oppressed Islamic extremist

6. Be HAPPY
- Fight to be happy and thankful for what I have

7. GRADUATE
- Graduate on time with the very best result that I can.

To be continued...

Jalan2

2009-12-06T05:56:00.000-08:00

The holidays are here and I'm starting to feel agitated and anxious with what I'm gonna do for the next 3 months. It feels weird to have a long holiday. Ever since I graduated, I never imagined that i would come back to this time where I get to do nothing at all. Not going home has its perks - I get to discover the other side of Melbourne. I've been googling cheap stuff to do here and hopefully I get to go to every single places in the list.

Check out this 2 sites. They offered some great cheap things to do in Melbourne

http://www.australiablog.com/planning-a-trip/free-things-to-do-in-melbourne.html

http://www.whitehat.com.au/100GT/General/100GTM.asp

My plan to work at an awesome organisation (according to me) has been postponed to March because they don't need me yet. Silly me for not having Plan B. For now I'm quite content being the tourist guide for my new housemate to discover Melbourne. It would be cool if we can cover all the cheap places and check out all the latest free gig and exhibitions here. I'm falling in love with this city. Of course I'd wanna go back eventually. So far everything is going pretty good. Alhamdulillah

Light of love

2009-11-28T00:19:00.000-08:00

There was a craze. Frequent fb status updates raving about it or at least mentioning about their dissatisfaction towards certain character. I gotta say being away from everything made me a bit curious about this latest craze. I decided to join the wagon and see what is the deal. Turns out, it wasn't quite as bad. I think the writer and the director are brilliant. They managed to tick the right boxes to suit the interests of our people. It was good enough to entertain the likes of both parties - the so-called modern city people and those from the suburbs as well. For that, I salute the team for coming up with a great piece with good actors. OF COURSE there were some cheesy parts and the characters were too forgiven for my likings. I dunno if a person as nice as Aidil exist and if there is I would like to get to know him. hihi. Nur Kasih, I would say is a phenomena after Mawi rocked the 'world' of Malay community. Never have I ever seen anyone caring about any shows as much as this show.

I love that Adam went to Down Under to further his studies and we got to see frequent view of Sydney Harbour and Sydney Opera House from his apartment. In reality, I don't think a student can afford such apartment unless ur pretty rich cos Sydney CBD is more expensive than Melbourne CBD. Typically, Malay shows/movies always prefer to choose London and since I'm in Aussie now, I was quite excited to see the change of scenery ;) The ending was pretty predictable. Love story must always end with happy ending. The whole show was pretty typical and predictable, but hey sometimes I got sick and tired of 'I dunnoi', let's go to chaddies or I hate maccies or what's for brekkie? Sometimes I just wanna remind myself that as exciting it was to be in a new country and integrate with the people, there's no place like home. Hence, the typical and stereotype jalan cerita of NK mengingatkan saya pada my good ol' Malaysia.

I wonder what's the next craze will be? I reckon there'll be an equivalent shows coming up anytime soon. Can it ever be as popular or maybe better than NK? Let's just wait and see

If you just smile

2009-11-21T20:19:00.000-08:00

A great song to cure a broken heart

Lyrics | Charlie Chaplin Lyrics | Smile Lyrics

I Hate Shopping Sometimes

2009-11-18T18:56:00.000-08:00

crazy-jokes.com

I saw this new place to shop in Malaysia and can't help but think surely I'll spend hours trying on clothes that will actually fit me. I always feel fat in Malaysia cos when I shop I always have to go for size L or XL…n then u see the next girl trying out S or M n u feel daym I’m fat. Do you wanna know why I love shopping in Melbourne because all the clothes fit me. L is wayyyy too big for me. My normal size will be 10-12.(that's M size btw).Yes I’m not as skinny as posh okay so there you go. I can even go for size 8 if I want to cos I can fit into it. In Malaysia I can barely put it in to pass my shoulder without ripping the clothes…

If they actually look closely, Malay people have meat you see. No I’m not being rascist I’m merely stating the fact that culturally, Malay people have meat n we have big bum and big thighs. Therefore all the clothes that you source out from China and Taiwan can only fit into their skimpy little legs and small shoulder. The rest of us just suffer in silence n beat ourselves hard when we look in the mirror. Oh you horrible tummy, why does my thigh has to be soo big. Why is my shoulder too broad. Why am I so tall? I cant afford buying oberseas brand all the time u know. u think I cop duit ka? I want clothes that fit. Look around you. Malay people have those excess baggage. To be fair, women are made up of different sizes okay. Not all of us have the luxury of being USA size 0. Those are supermodels. The reality is we don’t really care about being Kate Moss. We just want clothes that fit! Look around! Find us something to wear. Twartt…

The Britney Melbourne Circus

2009-11-14T04:43:00.000-08:00

OMG Y'all It's Mrs Britney Scandalous.

So I spent $100 to watch her mime. It's nothing new really, she's a popstar people! I don't get all the sudden media backlash. They were rooting for her comeback and then opps she just did it again. It was my first concert in Melbourne so I was pretty excited. The opening act by DJ Havana was goood! Awesome selection! The intro by Perez was over the top, building your excitement and then there she was!! What she should hv done was to scream her head off or sth and get the crowd pumping. She muttered a few words including What's Up Melbourne? Her voice mostly was drowned by her music even though it was all computer generated or maybe cos i bought the cheap seats so i didnt get a better view n sound. I reckoned she should hv pulled out more numbers from her first few albums. Those are basically the one that made her the star!

I was of course excited when she did Hit Me Baby One More Time. I like the bollywood remix for Me Against The Music. My favourite Toxic was performed and pieces of me was where she danced in a cage. She might have not been as sharp as her dancers but it was nothing like her sucky performance at the VMA. She did quite better this time.

I do like her circus theme. My favourite was when she was lifted on a giant frame. At that point, I thought she was better than her dancers cos maybe they were pretty scared of the height? The magic trick where she suddenly appeared from nowhere n when she was cut into pieces were really entertaining The Big Apple Circus team was awesome, it was kinda like I was watching a real circus except Britney was there.

Considering what she had gone through, I would say she wasn't soo bad. She wasn't Beyonce awesome, she is on her improvement journey or that's what I like to believe. Pls Britney for the old time sake! I hope one day I can watch that old Britney that I used to go crazy about. I remembered watching Mariah Carey and Alicia Keys and came home still wishing I was still in the stadium. With Brit Brit, it didn't really give a lasting impact. Maybe cos I have my final exam to think about.

Whatever it is, we still were a bunch of noisy people in the stadium and it was great to escape the books and watch my teenage idol. Those days lah kan...

The magic trick

Freakshow/Toxic

Another invitation

2009-11-12T06:50:00.000-08:00

And they say, "Our Lord, let our spouses and children be a source of joy for us, and keep us in the forefront of the righteous." [25:74]

There has always been mixed perception and opinions about the union. The ardent followers submit to the rightful ways. The not-so ardent followers who always pray and work hard to be a better servant, have their own stand. This is the age when a lot of my peers are either already blissfully in unison or joining the bandwagon. I used to have a mixed feelings too. They say it's gonna be over for you because your life no longer belongs to you but only to your partner. No one's gonna employ you cos you're just not gonna be committed. You have no freedom any longer.

I don't really know whether those are true. However, surely there must be a reason why it's a strong covenant made by The Almighty. Surely in this era of 21st century, people can't be too narrow minded about judging your ability according to your marital status. What about having that extra edge, the persistence to show people your own capabilities and that you deserve the job. Surely, your life doesn't just stop there. Surely, you get a different kind of freedom where you are free to build your own tradition, have a new set of practices and maybe freedom in the heart to continue your journey to find His path now that you are stable.

Surely, I was raised in a religious and Eastern culture which has shaped my mindset in a slightly strange way in the eyes of the 'Westerners'. Surely, I believe that it is gonna be a different challenge and surely I'll be there someday. I pray that Allah guides me there at the most suitable time for me. InshaAllah

Our thoughts and prayers with you

2009-11-11T18:28:00.000-08:00

We received a pretty bad news a few days ago from a friend. Yesterday, the news was reported in Berita Harian. A fellow Malaysian was attacked on her way to uni. She was walking towards her class in the afternoon when she noticed that someone was following her. She notified this in her fb status but when she tried to take a detour to a nearby shop, she was caught and taken to a nearby car where she was hurt till she became unconscious. She woke up in an abandoned house, her hands tied up, battered and bruised. She managed to escape and immediately switched on her phone and received a call from a worried friend. Our prayers goes out to her. We hope justice will be served and she remain strong during this troubled times. This happened at a main busy street.

This reminded me of my unfortunate encounter with a flasher at a busy Princess St just a few days before Hanna was attacked. I was lucky because I was accompanied with a friend. Melbourne has been getting a lot of bad reports from bashing an international student, late night attacks on random people and of course the pub attacks. It was so frequent now that they decided to install additional CCTV in the city.

Be safe everyone. We pray that you Hanna has the patience and the courage to move on. May Allah give u the strength to go through this.

Trusting

2009-11-10T21:19:00.000-08:00

Trust yourself
When the river of doubt starts flowing in
Trust yourself
When the uncertainty gets a hold of you
Trust yourself
When there's a surge of failure emotion
Trust yourself

Trust yourself and your ability
Believe that you've done it all
Perseverance
Prayers
Patience

Greener grass indeed

2009-11-05T18:10:00.000-08:00

They say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I think it's about pushing yourselves to the other side. Going out of your comfort zone to the other courageous phase. I pushed it and I did it. Now i just need to keep moving forward

The new beginning

2009-11-05T07:21:00.000-08:00

pic fr wikimedia

I think starting a new blog is gonna be fun. I've some rough idea on how it's gonna be like. This time more pictures with sensible writing. Just stick around n we'll figure out how it's gonna turned out as. Prolly another lame stories but who cares. As long as I can write I'm happy!

First Attempt

2009-11-05T02:45:00.000-08:00

Testing one two three

This is gonna be filled soon.