Tears and Goodbyes

The hardest thing about moving on is saying goodbyes. I thought I could be strong and just smile as I hug and bid them farewell. Instead, we were all bawling. Two years flew by and we had grown so close to each other.It breaks my heart into little micro pieces having to leave them. I am not sure if they are going to remember 'the girls' next door as much as we would in 10 years time, but I do hope that when they do look back, somewhere at the back of their mind, they can recall that there used to be 2 girls living next door at Nicholson and we had shared loads of fun together.

To A & T, you were the 'coolest' parents ever. Thank you for entertaining all those frequent requests and helping out in every way that you can. To M, R and A, I hope we'll see each other again and may you girls grow up to become amazing artists/dancers/ any other things you aspire to be.

To Melbourne, I am leaving you soon.

As I look back and ponder

Can't believe it's coming to an end. Just the thought of it makes my heart twist. I know it sounds cliche but I really can't believe that it's been two years. All the struggles and hiatus are finally over. Right now, the house is almost empty. We're sleeping on an air mattress, all clothes are packed in boxes except those i'm keeping for the next one month. I wish I could just stay longer, but my new life awaits me and I'm also looking forward to the next chapter.

There are just way too many things that I will miss, mostly the freedom to find your own dreams. I enjoy meeting new people. Although I didn't become as extroverted as I wanted to, I know it's a great lesson to learn and I need to constantly push myself to achieve great things from now on. It's okay if I falter, life is all about experience right?

I am going to miss out watching my adorable neighbours grow up to be amazing and free-spirited girls. I've learned so much from them and their parents. I realised that most important lesson to teach a child is to let them learn and experience life as a child. Shape their minds by valuing each skills and encouraging them to experience and experiment. I understand why the Australian/Westeners interact the way they do or even think the way they do. They have been encouraged to do so since young. I hope I don't forget to instill these spirit into my children when I have one. InsyaAllah

I will miss the freedom to do things on my own, make mistakes and learn how to be better. I admit I was sooo damn lazy the last semester. I just had to push myself constantly although I always ended up doing everything to the very very last minute. I realised that my brain can't take too much information in a day. I like to plan but I never follow through and almost all the time, I can't wait to be done with everything.huhu. That was how difficult the battle was for my last semester. I did make it through though. 3rd December will be the ultimate outcome of everything that I've worked for. InsyaAllah I will graduate

I hope when I board that plane to my home town, I would look back and be proud of myself. I made it through my master. I hope to be humble and kind. I hope it won't make me boastful. I hope I learn to acknowledge and respect people and I hope people won't misjudge me. The road I've taken IS for everybody, if you set your heart and mind into it. So I'm sure with determination, everyone can get through it. I'm really no better than anybody else. My passion is just different. I love to learn and that is all there is to it! In other words, I'm a nerd ;)

Bliss

Don't get why people can be rude. What a total mood killer.

No more exam! Yippee.. Spent a great Eid day to mark the end of exam ever. The weather was beautiful, the walk from uni to Collin st was a breeze (it's quite a distance, mind you). The fabulous choc frappe from Ganache Choc, yummiest macaroon from Lindt and the delighful chicken and seafood dumpling from Chinatown Restaurant at Swanston st., I wouldn't want it any other way. Thanks friends for making it perfect.

Went home feeling content and had a really nice early sleep in.

2 more assignments to go...come one!

p/s: I did a crazy thing today.I cut my front hair cos I wanted it to be shorter. Totally ruined it but thanks to hairclips it doesn't look so ugly.Cant wait for weeks to come when they grow back.

Keep it up

When I think about all those things I've done, my heart bleeds. How Allah has blessed me with so many good things in life and how I haven't done much to show Him my appreciation. How selfish I've been. No matter how many wrong turns I took, He still answers my prayers. Sometimes I feel embarrassed to even want to ask more things from Him, believing that maybe I do not deserve it. I know He hears me and in my weakest and darkest point, I know only He understands.

I have to put a stop to this procrastination. My life depends on the last 3 hurdles. I will go through my last battle and InsyaAllah I will graduate.

To infinity and beyond!!!!!!!!!!!!

Power of acceptance

Sometimes you ask yourselves soo many questions to know whether you've made the right decisions. You then asked God if He can show you some guidance. You keep on searching and you realised maybe the sign is within you but you just don't wanna accept it.

Once you've made the transition, you ask The Almighty for the strength to go through any hurdles. You asked Him for His blessings. You realised that you are no longer afraid of that decision any more. It's right because it feels right.

Accepting is a powerful decision. If the journey ends in a different direction, well so be it. I know I was brave enough to even decide and accept it in the first place.

Don't give up

Psssttt,

Mummy dearest is planning the whole wedding event for moi twice (KL and Penang)! I'm gonna have three receptions. hihi. One for all my lovely friends and awesome family, one intimate event for his friends and family and another one networking event for my dad's colleagues and VIP guests.

All three events will have totally different 'themes', totally different crowds and surroundings, totally different expectations and totally different looks. I'm looking forward to the dressing up, maybe not so much on the hurdles that I have to go through. Well, it's all part of the processes right.

Being a natural people pleaser, I hate it when I think I've offended someone or anyone. It tears me into pieces just thinking about it. So wedding preparation is such a challenge for my poor heart and mind. Oh yes, there are times when I want to give up and think, well here I am trying to make everyone happy, but who cares about my fragile heart? It's all part of the processes kan...

7 days to go to finish all uni-related stuff. My mind can't take any more studying after this.

Nuisance thoughts, go away!

Way to go for making me feel like a minion and unimportant.

I know i'm not the money making machine, i'm just exploiting my mind to supposedly quench my thirst of self-improvement. It's just a selfish act to prove to myself that I'm better than what I think I am.

What do I know about struggle? Wait, what about the huge sum of moolah I need to pay.

Well, it's just bad timing. I'm starting to feel the pressure. Serves me right for leaving everything to the last minute again.

I hope tonight is a better night to fall asleep. I can't waste another 3 to 4 hours of laying on my bed with my brain refusing to shut down.