ca Capturing moments: Starting a new career
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Friday, July 8, 2011

Starting a new career

Oh my goodness, I have made sooo many mistakes and I kept making them again and again and again. I swear I feel like shooting myself or jumping from the 21st floor of my office building or maybe walk through the busy road and let me get run over by a car or a lorry. It's exhausting and it's exasperating and I swear I cant even give myself another chance for making those silly, typo/grammar/punctuation errors. I am so not fit to become a magazine editor...sigh..

The week has finally passed by. I know I have another week to battle through for another important deals to go through but I am trying not to be ahead of myself. Take things as it comes and be really focus. Despite the elevated stress, I managed to get through it and a simple thank you sms from my client was good enough to wake me up with a smile on my face.

So I've started working since 3 months ago. I have definitely learned a great deal and when I try to take all the negativities out of the equation, it's actually a pretty good experience that I never thought I would actually be doing. So I am gonna be thankful with what I have and not gonna lament or think about what I have missed.

Since I like to ponder a lot on my decisions, I sometimes wonder why did I choose this job, why didn't I just go to that other interview, why didn't I apply for more jobs? But I know God has His own way of telling me that I need this. If I just try to look at everything in a positive light, I might be able to realize that it's a valuable experience worth fighting for. If I try not to think about that place that I miss sooo much, I might find a way to start embracing the reality that I am not going back there any time soon.

A friend questioned me why is there a strong attachment to that place. I guess the only correct answer to it is that it was my sanctuary. It was like a place where I gather all thoughts. A place where I revive myself. A place where I forgive myself and I let myself fall in love again. A place where I became stronger. A place where I can be a drama queen without anyone judging. hihi...

One day, I will go back, even just for a day. I will make sure of it.

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